The Race…

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Inadequacy seeps into my bones
as judging eyes glance askance
when did the race start?
heard the gun shot but a moment ago
Too old, too slow, but I must try (must I?)
might never quite get there…
but the alternative puts some zip in my step

The Raven

(As an aside, from here on in I’ll be providing each of my posts with some mood music. Quite like an artiste, I know, but bear with me. Do listen to the music as you read the post and your pleasure will be enhanced, most assuredly. I bid you good day! *raises top hat*)

“round here, we talk just like lions but we sacrifice like lambs…

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“round here, we talk just like lions but we sacrifice like lambs…

Writing doesn’t come as easy as it used to. Seem like the more I boast about being a “writer”, the harder it is for me to write anything of import. Maybe I’m just meant to be on the sidelines, cheering on as others achieve the dreams I’d been saving for myself. This feeling of impotence makes me feel like a phony, the frustration sets my teeth on edge and a torrent of varied emotions; rage, melancholy, paranoia; threaten to drown me. I’m forever plagued with the fear that people will finally realize that I’m not smart enough, talented enough, capable enough to ever amount to anything…

Can someone help me create a song?

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I have the lyrics but I’m pretty shit with composition or playing an instrument. If any of you would like to collaborate with me, that’d be awesome!

I’m thinking of a very bluesy, rock’n’roll, psychedelia feel to it. it’s inspired by songs like “drift away” by the Doobie Brothers, “American pie” by Don McLean, “They are all in love” by The Who and “Mr. Tambourine man” by Bod Dylan.

On the Shoulders of giants

We’d seen the last of the hippies
And Woodstock had come and gone
“I’ve changed my tune” said the Tambourine man
Born into a world dead before the dawn

(Chorus)
As the music changed me, so the music changed
No longer a soft touch on the heart strings
What stirred the soul, jumbled the mind
Now affects neither, so much white noise on the radio

The magical mystery saw a tragic history
The lonely hearts club only got lonelier
The Walrus became John, and then he was gone
A generation mourned the loss of genius

(Chorus)

The vegetable man raved and saw visions
Shone for a while and retreated in a shell
His light was too bright, they lived in his shadow
Poles apart, didn’t realize the wall was too high

(Chorus)

The lonely girl with the voice that bled
The jaded poet, cleansed by a funeral pyre
The experienced one with the voodoo fingers
Driving fans wild, setting guitars on fire

(Bridge)

Burnt out but didn’t fade away.
Seems like all my heroes are mortal
And the pedestal is beyond my reach

let me know what you guys think :)

DIY projects

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So, I’ve started a few DIY projects for my room. I’m giving it a very hippie feel and would love to have people share their thoughts on the things I do. I feel I need to tell you beforehand that I’m not the most gifted artist, some of the things looked way better in my head than they look in my room, but I’m still proud of what I manage to get done.

I’ll be uploading some pictures for people to review to see how far along the project has come. So far I’ve painted a two tables and a lamp. I plan to do another box cum table, get a rug and some floor cushions and  paintings. If you have any ideas or tips you would like to give me, please do.

Stay tuned for pictures!!

 

 

Recent Doctor Who convert

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I haven’t even seen all the seasons yet and I totally get what all the hype is about. well, mostly it’s this:

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and this

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a little bit of this

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and a whole lot of this:

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Okay, that’s being unfair to the show… true David is cute, and sexy and ridiculously adorable! (did you see the pic of him with the cat?! OMG! I just can’t!) but the show is amazing… I’ve loved every character, every villain, every hero, every sidekick, every companion and every doctor. 

Let me explain the show a little bit if you’ve never seen it. so, in a nutshell, it’s about this alien, he’s called a time lord, the last of his kind, from the planet Gallifrey. He has a space ship, Time And Relative Dimension In Space or a TARDIS for short. This spaceship is shaped like a phone box from the 60’s in order to look inconspicuous. it’s bigger on the inside and he travels the world in it. a madman and his blue box. he chooses companions to travel with him and he takes them on wild adventures into the past, into the future, into alternate dimensions… et al. he sets things right across the timeline, he can’t always save everyone, because such is life, but he does his best.  

He’s like fire and ice and rage. He’s like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He’s ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe. And… he’s wonderful.

The adventures are larger than life and the doctor always comes through in the end. The show gives me hope, I like to think there’s someone like him out there, being the best he can be and saving the world. As a time lord he doesn’t die but can regenerate, so far he’s on his 12th or 14th regeneration, depending on how you count them; and each one of them has been awesome. I might be partial to DT, because come on! look at the pic of him with the kitten!! but I wouldn’t change anything about the show or the premise. Not the Sucky special effects, not the heart breaking deaths, not the Englishness of it all, nothing! 

He’s incredibly lonely, haunted by the demons of his past and the allusiveness of his future. For every person he saves he leaves devastation in his wake. He breaks hearts and completely overhauls people’s lives and they wouldn’t want it any other way! 

 “You and I both know, don’t we Rose? The Doctor is worth the monsters… One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.”

When things are not working out in my life, even though I know it’s not possible, I kind of wish the doctor would come along and save me, and take me on a wild adventure. He would make the worst boyfriend, but so what?! you have to take the bad with the good… and there is so much good! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Jealousy, turning saints into the sea”

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So, it’s not really that i’m jealous. I have my own thing going. For the first time i’m in love and it’s like, “All those other times? what was I thinking??!”

Before I go off on a tangent again, the point I was making was this… it’s not jealousy. Just an uncomfortable feeling of ‘Really??! This is what you chose?! I thought you were cool!” She’s my friend, a pretty close one. I know she’s a great person and all, but man! she’s as thick as a bag of bricks!! and she’s not into any cool stuff… Do I sound resentful? Maybe I’m a little jealous. 

It’s not even that I want to be with him, that’s long over and I realize that we wouldn’t have worked. He just realized that sooner than I did… Seems kind of insensitive to me though that he would tell me he’s interested in a friend of mine and would like me to liaise between the two of them, when I confessed how I felt to him a few years ago AND we both made fun of her for being stupid and really kind of slow. 

Guess it all comes down to looks, then. She is very pretty, and I’m just average. So, maybe I’m more than just a little jealous. 

And you see me I’m coming off as you can bet, Well, I think I’m losing my mind this time. This time I’m losing my mind

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I had a close encounter with an Alzheimer’s patient yesterday. My mom’s uncle; saw him after a long time. I didn’t realize how much progress the disease had made in such a short amount of time. needless to say it was a shock! he was completely incoherent, babbling about something or the other. I had a weird conversation with him where neither of us knew what the other was talking about and I had the crazy thought that to him I was the one babbling incoherently.

i think with Alzheimer’s he also has the onset of paranoia, its the worst combination ever! he keeps thinking people are out to get him, over and over again! I’m not kidding, it must be exhausting.

alzheimer'sThis is one of the many reasons “I hope i die before i get old” ( a shout out to The Who, right here).  Old age is bitch, why do we insist on making progresses in medicine if the human body or mind wasn’t meant to live that long? is that even living where you don’t know where you are or who you’re speaking to?  “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”. So, when you see me when i’m 50, kill me? thanks

The species has amused itself to death

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I take a special kind of pride in coming up with titles that have nothing to do with the actual blog post. This ensures that my blog virtually never gets read and I have to coax people into reading it…

It’s Roger Waters birthday today!! he’s 70 today. now, i’m going to say my secret prayer I say every time i mention any of the remaining Beatles or Floyd or Dylan (Dear God, grant them immortality).

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The Beatles and Pink Floyd hold a special place in my heart, because it was listening to “comfortably numb’ and ‘Something’ that opened my heart, mind and ears to real music and i dumped all the shitty boy bands i was listening to real fast. Then I was like a kid in a candy store, trying to devour every bit of their music, albums, live concerts, books, movies what have yous… anything I could get my hands on. Didn’t hurt that all of them, well most of them, were very easy on the eyes. Though i’m slightly partial to Syd, Dave and George.

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Before i wax poetic on Roger’s amazing writing abilities can I just share something awesome I heard today? Dave Gilmour singing Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18  this is possibly one of the most beautiful things you’ll ever hear! As one friend put it “Shakespeare + Dave = Lethal Combo!”

Okay, let’s talk about Roger now, has anyone else noticed that he’s one of the few people that’s just gotten better looking with age? he used to be anawkward, gangly kid till his late 30’s and now he’s just really hot!

Exhibit A

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compare that with old roger 2 old roger

Dayum, son!!

I’ve always been a huge fan of Waters’ lyrics, His words are haunting, menacing at times. and his singing just adds that extra maniacal touch. he’s by no means an excellent singer, Dave obviously has the better voice, the looks… he has the magic touch on the guitar and that smile and when he speaks french i just melt into a little puddle… did i start talking about Dave again? sorry! what was i saying? yeah, what Waters lacks in terms of voice quality he makes up for it with raw emotion… when he sings songs like “Don’t leave me now” or “one of my Turns” his voice cracks a little in the high octaves, and I think it just adds so much authenticity. It sounds like someone who’s about to lose his mind.

If I had choose one song of his that’s my favorite, it would definitely be from “the final cut”. If you don’t have it, do yourself a favor and make it “everything that you buy, beg, borrow or steal“. No, that’s not a clumsy insertion of a lyric… shutup! the two songs every Waters’ fan has to love are “two suns in the sunset” and “The Final cut“. also get “Amused to death”. you won’t regret either of those decisions. may be the best decisions you ever make!

Happy birthday, Roger!! i hope you google yourself today and see my post. I love you and want you to live forever :)

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Not very original, i know…

Much as I love Dave on his own, and I do love him lots! Together they made magic… Doesn’t look like a reunion is on the cards but as Rick said in Casablanca “We’ll always have DSOTM”