people get ready there’s a train a comin’, don’t need no baggae you just get on board, if you’ve got the faith you’ll hear the deisel hummin’, don’t need no ticket you just thank the Lord…

Standard

I’ve stumbled my way through enough presentations at school to know that public speaking is not my friend. So, naturally, my first thought was panic! Speaking in front of people I don’t even know, about something so personal filled me with a sense of trepidation the likes of which I’ve never felt before.

But then my mom told me how it would be Sadqa – e – Jariah if even one person gets inspired by my story, so please…be inspired!

I remember as a kid being forced to read the Quran, being guilt tripped into going through the motions and hating every minute of it, thinking of ways to get out of it. Hoping maulvi sahib won’t be feeling well today.

That was some 17 odd years ago, somehow Allah and I lost touch along the way, like an old friend you suddenly feel very awkward around and look the other way, pretending not to notice them when you run into each other.

MashaAllah everyone at my house prays 5 times a day, I was kinda the odd one out, far from the dutiful daughter, I’ve done a lot of things in my life I’m not proud of. I was the one who probably made people wonder ‘she’s with them??’

It got to the point where I was very despondent, verging on the edge of full on depression. I needed something to change; pronto! Eventually something did change; my perspective. I was no longer angry at everyone and everything, I hope my family will attest to the fact that there has been a change in me, hopefully one that’s permanent. More & more before I do something I find myself wondering if Allah would approve of what I’m about to do, and if not I try to refrain. Notice I use the word ‘try’, I’m still learning the ropes with this whole friendship thing.

Now, I read the Quran because I want to & not because someone is forcing me to. I read the translation & try to understand and remember what I can.

Little steps, but hopefully InshaAllah I’ll get there. At last I’ve found peace.

 

Advertisements

About psychedelicmindtrip

interested in writing, though lacking the motivation to actually do anything about it. old school rock'n'roll makes me happy, as does anarchy, revolution and questioning the status quo. war, women and youth empowerment, freedom of expression, conspiracy theories, art, literature, theater etc. i get bored with things easily but when something grabs my attention i'm very, very passionate. i like all kinds of exotic foods and am willing to try anything once. follow me on twitter @sgtpepperfloyd i will be using this blog mostly to vent, and as of now i'm converting it into a review blog. i will be reviewing anything and everything; music, books, movies, food, youtube videos, places, makeup, perfume, clothes, shoes... basically anything i have liked, loved, mildly enjoyed or greatly despised. i won't review video games though, because i don't propagate violence and outside of an apocalypse requiring you to fight for survival, i see no redeeming value in them and see playing video games as a waste of time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s