How to be the least popular person at your work place:

Standard
  1. Don’t get involved in other people’s bullshit. When someone starts bitching about their family, their love-life, their stupid, snotty kids, or their stagnant career, tune them out. Especially if they start bitching about other people you work with. People HATE that. Repeat after me “Not my monkeys, not my circus. Not my monkeys, not my circus”
  2. Put in your headphones and start jamming to your favorite tunes. This gives off the vibe that they don’t want to talk to people.
  3. A good practice is to start meditating in the middle of an annoying conversation you’d rather not be a part of. Imagine you are in your happy place; killing all these idiots who force you into boring conversations. Not very ‘zen’, I know, but whatcha gonna do?
  4. At times just put in your headphones and pretend to be jamming so you can eavesdrop on conversations and use them for blackmail later. This comes in very handy on rare occasions.
  5. Start crying whenever someone talks about their dad, guilt-trip them because you don’t have one any more.
  6. Perfect the eye-roll and jabbering hand sign, use it whenever someone tries to be funny in your presence. This will devastate them and force them to realize they aren’t as funny as they think.
  7. During dull conversations stop making eye contact and use your thousand yard stare to good effect. The other person will pause when he realizes you’re obviously not listening. Then go off on a tangent and introduce a topic you are interested in; the last book you loved, your favorite musician or how hot Idris Alba is.
  8. Whenever a group of people looks like they’re enjoying themselves, talk about how miserable your life is and how suicidal you are. Wipe those smirks off their faces.
  9. Be alternately hot and cold around. Extremely chatty one day and really pissy the next. No one will bug you with their boring stories any more, you’ll have all the power to talk to people only when you feel like it.
  10. Frequently start long, boring monologues and stop abruptly without making a point.
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About psychedelicmindtrip

interested in writing, though lacking the motivation to actually do anything about it. old school rock'n'roll makes me happy, as does anarchy, revolution and questioning the status quo. war, women and youth empowerment, freedom of expression, conspiracy theories, art, literature, theater etc. i get bored with things easily but when something grabs my attention i'm very, very passionate. i like all kinds of exotic foods and am willing to try anything once. follow me on twitter @sgtpepperfloyd i will be using this blog mostly to vent, and as of now i'm converting it into a review blog. i will be reviewing anything and everything; music, books, movies, food, youtube videos, places, makeup, perfume, clothes, shoes... basically anything i have liked, loved, mildly enjoyed or greatly despised. i won't review video games though, because i don't propagate violence and outside of an apocalypse requiring you to fight for survival, i see no redeeming value in them and see playing video games as a waste of time.

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